"Autumn"

Response to Autumn: http://identitynarratives2012b.blogspot.com/p/autumn.html

I love the descriptiveness of the narrative. I love how the descriptive imagery such as, “glossy class counter” and “red silk blouse.” I was really intrigued at the part when she is talking about being in the jewelry store with her aunt. My grandmother used to sell jewelry, so it reminded me of the times when we would talk trips to jewelry stores in the Philippines and my grandmother would bargain for a low price and then would sell them whenever she would visit my family here in the U.S. I thought it was really sweet that she wanted to give money to the homeless man that she saw living in the alley way and I liked the fact that in the third grade she helped out a church during Thanksgiving and she saw the homeless man again.

I was a little confused when she made the jump from the jewelry store to all of a sudden being in the alley. It kind of raised questions, ex: Why were in the alley by yourself? Where was the blood from? I think if there was an extra sentence for a transition it would make the narrative run a little smoother and the story would be a little clearer. Also, I didn’t really see the connection with the titleAutumn and with the narrative. Maybe if there was more description with the season being autumn.